....31 Day Reset - Day 2

Ok... today's assignment was to answer two questions about specific areas of your life. The questiosn are: What do I LOVE about this area of my life? and What do I HATE about it?

Alright, party people... here’s my answers to today’s RESET assignment:

Lifestyle: What I love about my lifestyle is that I have a beautiful home that I can relax and hang out with my friends and family in. I have the ability to enjoy life in general, although it’s hard to find true “me-time”. I feel like I’m obligated to everybody else except myself at times. It’s frustrating...

Work: I actually enjoy what I do, to a certain degree. I’ve had jobs where I’ve felt like I wasn’t valued or that my skills weren’t being utilized appropriately. But I actually feel like I’m making a contribution to the team. There are things about my company that I would change, and I truly don’t feel like I get paid enough for what I do. However, in comparison to the other jobs that I’ve had, it’s not all that bad. I’ve definitely grown and I understand that there are things that I can control in corporate america to help alleviate the frustrating elements of being a desk jockey. I do feel that I need to focus my goals to become an entrepreneur and a full-time professor, and I am currently in a weird place... I have to regroup and refocus the goals of one of my ventures, and figure out if it’s what I’m TRULY passionate about to continue to move forward with the plans.

Educational: Totally satisfied with my education. Received my Master of Arts in Accounting in 2002. I think about going back to school to get a law degree, so I can teach at a university, but right now is not a good time, and I don’t think I have the energy to do 3 more years of school.

Finances: I am happy that my husband and I are able to pay our bills, and have enough to save and slurge on big ticket items every one and awhile. However, I would really love it if we could get a hold of our credit, and pay down those credit cards! I want to be debt free! Credit cards, student loans... GONE. The thought of it makes me tremble! LOL As stated before, I do think that I deserve a higher salary... my title is definitely not proportionate to my paycheck! Part of it is the industry that I’m in, but the other part of it is definitely my company’s way of managing their payroll expense. *rolling of the eyes*

Health: I love that when I go for my checkups, I always get an overall “A+” from my doctors... however, I could stand to lose some weight. I’m 5’2”, and I weigh over 200 lbs. NOT HEALTHY whatsoever. I have a family history of diabetes, so managing my weight is so important. I make excuses for why I can’t exercise, but you know what... I just need to do it. It gets me down sometimes. Spiritually, I think I’m thirsty. I want to get reacquainted with God, and try to take time each day to pray and read the Bible. Somewhere along the line, I started to slip. With these days and times, I can’t afford to slip in the spiritual health area.

Family: This is an area where I would like to improve the most in. I get along with my family (husband, sister, brother, mom, dad, etc), but it’s the tug-of-war that’s wearing on me. My husband doesn’t like so-and-so, so he doesn’t want to spend holidays with my side of the family. My sister and husband are always beefin’... I’ve been married 7 years, with my husband 13 years... at some point, all of this has to end. I’ve become more and more weary, and I miss my family. I miss EVERYTHING, and I feel like I don’t know my grandparents or some of my other cousins anymore. It saddens me, and it stresses me. I no longer look forward to holidays, because I’m thinking about how unfair it is that I have to go with my husband with his family, and we never spend time with my side of the family. Our agreement before marriage was that we would alternate each year. It hasn’t happened... I feel like my grandmother resents me, and now that her and my grandfather are getting older, I should make it a point to visit them. It’s hard when you have your own children, and you now have to pay for 3-4 plane tickets to make it halfway across the country. This year, the kids visiting my mom has even become an issue, and because my husband had a change in his plans, he’s shortened the time that they’ll spend with my mom, so that he can take them to Chicago and spend time with his people. I don’t mind that they go to Chicago, but I thought it would be after we picked them up from Dallas during a family reunion (now, I’ll more than likely miss the reunion... another point of irritation for me). I’m tired, and really would like for this aspect of my life to get better. I’m sick of being in the middle, and I’m sick of “keeping the peace”.

Relationships: I love that I have close friends, which includes my husband. I do wish that I could spend more time with those friends, and just be ME. I know that it’s hard because everybody is busy with careers and family life. My closest friends don’t even live here in Atlanta, so I feel like I’m in limbo here at times. I’m blessed to have several “sets” of friends, so when I want to get out and do something, I have the option of selecting from groups of people. But it’s nothing consistent.

As far as my husband, I think we’re at a point of where we need to start accepting each other for who we really are, and not hinder each other from having a bit of personal time. I would like for us to be more spiritually intimate, if that makes sense. I sometimes feel like I’m a prisoner to his wants and needs, and my voice doesn’t matter. *shrugging* I’m bout sick of that, too. I love him dearly, and we’re great friends. But sometimes he forgets that I’m a grown ass women who needs to feel like her feelings, opinions, thoughts, ideas... matter. I’m not a child that you try to impress upon your ideas. I’ve never been a pushover, nor will I ever be. So take into consideration my needs, and don’t just sweep them under the rug and say, “Well, this is how it’s going to be, because I said so!” NO THANKS.