I'm a day late, but here goes...
Yesterday, we were instructed to brainstorm on our values... or what matters most to me in my life. And then we were to pick the TOP TEN, and call it, "RESET 10". So here goes...
Family
my children
Service
career progression
knowledge
teaching
empathy exploring
pursuit of purpose
learning new things
culture
earth conscience
spiritual growth
integrity
quiet time
truth
fun
honesty
laughter
balance
passion
economic development
finding my niche
respect for others
My RESET 10 (in no particular order)
Family
Service
Teaching
Exploring
Pursuit of Purpose
Culture
Spiritual Growth
Truth
Balance
Economic Development
Ok... today's assignment was to answer two questions about specific areas of your life. The questiosn are: What do I LOVE about this area of my life? and What do I HATE about it?
Alright, party people... here’s my answers to today’s RESET assignment:
Lifestyle: What I love about my lifestyle is that I have a beautiful home that I can relax and hang out with my friends and family in. I have the ability to enjoy life in general, although it’s hard to find true “me-time”. I feel like I’m obligated to everybody else except myself at times. It’s frustrating...
Work: I actually enjoy what I do, to a certain degree. I’ve had jobs where I’ve felt like I wasn’t valued or that my skills weren’t being utilized appropriately. But I actually feel like I’m making a contribution to the team. There are things about my company that I would change, and I truly don’t feel like I get paid enough for what I do. However, in comparison to the other jobs that I’ve had, it’s not all that bad. I’ve definitely grown and I understand that there are things that I can control in corporate america to help alleviate the frustrating elements of being a desk jockey. I do feel that I need to focus my goals to become an entrepreneur and a full-time professor, and I am currently in a weird place... I have to regroup and refocus the goals of one of my ventures, and figure out if it’s what I’m TRULY passionate about to continue to move forward with the plans.
Educational: Totally satisfied with my education. Received my Master of Arts in Accounting in 2002. I think about going back to school to get a law degree, so I can teach at a university, but right now is not a good time, and I don’t think I have the energy to do 3 more years of school.
Finances: I am happy that my husband and I are able to pay our bills, and have enough to save and slurge on big ticket items every one and awhile. However, I would really love it if we could get a hold of our credit, and pay down those credit cards! I want to be debt free! Credit cards, student loans... GONE. The thought of it makes me tremble! LOL As stated before, I do think that I deserve a higher salary... my title is definitely not proportionate to my paycheck! Part of it is the industry that I’m in, but the other part of it is definitely my company’s way of managing their payroll expense. *rolling of the eyes*
Health: I love that when I go for my checkups, I always get an overall “A+” from my doctors... however, I could stand to lose some weight. I’m 5’2”, and I weigh over 200 lbs. NOT HEALTHY whatsoever. I have a family history of diabetes, so managing my weight is so important. I make excuses for why I can’t exercise, but you know what... I just need to do it. It gets me down sometimes. Spiritually, I think I’m thirsty. I want to get reacquainted with God, and try to take time each day to pray and read the Bible. Somewhere along the line, I started to slip. With these days and times, I can’t afford to slip in the spiritual health area.
Family: This is an area where I would like to improve the most in. I get along with my family (husband, sister, brother, mom, dad, etc), but it’s the tug-of-war that’s wearing on me. My husband doesn’t like so-and-so, so he doesn’t want to spend holidays with my side of the family. My sister and husband are always beefin’... I’ve been married 7 years, with my husband 13 years... at some point, all of this has to end. I’ve become more and more weary, and I miss my family. I miss EVERYTHING, and I feel like I don’t know my grandparents or some of my other cousins anymore. It saddens me, and it stresses me. I no longer look forward to holidays, because I’m thinking about how unfair it is that I have to go with my husband with his family, and we never spend time with my side of the family. Our agreement before marriage was that we would alternate each year. It hasn’t happened... I feel like my grandmother resents me, and now that her and my grandfather are getting older, I should make it a point to visit them. It’s hard when you have your own children, and you now have to pay for 3-4 plane tickets to make it halfway across the country. This year, the kids visiting my mom has even become an issue, and because my husband had a change in his plans, he’s shortened the time that they’ll spend with my mom, so that he can take them to Chicago and spend time with his people. I don’t mind that they go to Chicago, but I thought it would be after we picked them up from Dallas during a family reunion (now, I’ll more than likely miss the reunion... another point of irritation for me). I’m tired, and really would like for this aspect of my life to get better. I’m sick of being in the middle, and I’m sick of “keeping the peace”.
Relationships: I love that I have close friends, which includes my husband. I do wish that I could spend more time with those friends, and just be ME. I know that it’s hard because everybody is busy with careers and family life. My closest friends don’t even live here in Atlanta, so I feel like I’m in limbo here at times. I’m blessed to have several “sets” of friends, so when I want to get out and do something, I have the option of selecting from groups of people. But it’s nothing consistent.
As far as my husband, I think we’re at a point of where we need to start accepting each other for who we really are, and not hinder each other from having a bit of personal time. I would like for us to be more spiritually intimate, if that makes sense. I sometimes feel like I’m a prisoner to his wants and needs, and my voice doesn’t matter. *shrugging* I’m bout sick of that, too. I love him dearly, and we’re great friends. But sometimes he forgets that I’m a grown ass women who needs to feel like her feelings, opinions, thoughts, ideas... matter. I’m not a child that you try to impress upon your ideas. I’ve never been a pushover, nor will I ever be. So take into consideration my needs, and don’t just sweep them under the rug and say, “Well, this is how it’s going to be, because I said so!” NO THANKS.
Good Afternoon, All!
I've been receiving emails from a site called "Happy Black Woman". Rosetta Thurman is the facilitator, and I must say, I am greatly impressed with the direction of her blog and other endevours.
Every month, she begins a "reset" for women, and it's to help you work through your life and guide you to growth within yourself on all levels; spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc. I'm currently at a point in my life where I'm struggling to make decisions about certain things, and I feel like I need to "reel it in" a little. :-)
Today's assignment was to pick a personal mantra. I decided to go with "I'll find a way, or make one.", which is Clark Atlanta's motto. Anyone who has ever attended CAU uses this when we arise at an obstacle in our lives. It's so pertinant to any situation that can happen in your everyday life. I think that the motto also signifies the belief that you can do anything that you put your mind to, and that's what I'm about.
So come along with me on this 31 Day journey. I'm looking forward to what comes out of this process!
The Practices of Successful Managers
I have to help our HR department with a small project to help inprove the hiring/"On Board" process, and one of the things that was asked of the managers participating was what we felt are the 5 things a manager needed to be successful. Of course, I started making a list of things that most of us think of immediately... leadership, great communication, trustworthy, etc. But then I saw that I had a whole group of items that I couldn't quite come up with a good word (or words) to describe entirely.
I immediately Google "how to be a successful manager", and up popped a ba-gillion results. I click on link after link, scanning for any hints of clarity. After opening "The Practices of Successful Managers", I saw EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. I thought, "hmmmm... that's interesting." I began to read the paragraph, and after each sentence, I grew more and more excited! "YES! That's it!!"
Emotional Intelligence includes self awareness, self regulation, empathy, motivation, and social skill. I am big on all of these things, because I personally believe that a good manager not only knows him or herself, but they also are able to understand and empathize with their team.
So... take a look at the article, and let me know what your thoughts are!
About 3 or 4 years ago, my husband decided to buy me an elliptical machine. I was soooo excited, because FINALLY I would be able to get in some sort of workout in between working, being a mommy, and running to and from various activities. I did well for about 3 weeks, doing 45 min - 1 hour on the elliptical. But as time went on, I, slowly but surely, began to neglect my elliptical.
Pretty soon, my elliptical began to collect dust... and then I noticed that my husband began using it as a clothing drop off. All while I'm thinking that I didn't have time to squeeze in exercise, my poor elliptical sat in the corner of my room, crying "Use me!! I'm here!! I can help you!"
Needless to say, I continued to neglect my elliptical. After the birth of my second child, I once again started thinking that I should try to lose weight. I mentally told myself that the elliptical wasn't good enough, because the batteries needed to be replaced, and I hated how the handle would gradually slide down, making my arm position be slightly lopsided. :-( All the while, my poor elliptical sat and waited so patiently for me to make it useful.
I was recently diagnosed with mild degenerative arthritis in my knees, and yesterday was especially hard. My right knee ached to a point to where I was limping. I wanted to go to Amia's Salsa Fusion class, but the thought of standing for an hour, much less dancing, made me cringe. But I REALLY wanted to get some form of exercise in. That's when a picture of my precious elliptical popped in my head! "Ah HAA!", I thought. "I can workout without putting too much pressure on my knees!!"
So I got home, replaced those batteries for the elliptical's keypad, turned on "Lost" (recorded two weeks ago... still catching up from being on vacation), and got movin'! My elliptical and my knees thanked me! **smile**
I've decided that I will spend quality time with my elliptical at least 3 times a week, and anytime I miss Salsa Fusion. It's the least I can do for a machine that's always been there, even when I neglected to be there for the machine. :-)
Hey all!
I found this old blog that I wrote a few years back, and thought that it is still relevant today. Please check it out, and let me know what you think!
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The Secret Part II (Choice)
“I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice in attitude.” – Judith M. Knowlton
I told you all that I would FINALLY get to it… so here it is! I really didn’t know how I was going to go about writing this particular blog. The difficulty in writing is, well, the word “CHOICE” itself. There are so many ways you can really talk about choices. So I decided that I would approach the word by simply talking about making choices concerning your ATTITUDE.
To me, your attitude determines what kinds of things are allowed to be presented in your life. I learned this lesson the hard way, and I still have to remind myself sometimes of this very lesson.
When I worked for The Home Depot, one of our VP’s always talked about “choosing your attitude”. Let me tell you, this was one of the HAPPIEST people I knew, and it was almost sickening to me! She was like a 40-year-old cheerleader! Anywho… she would always say, “Choose Your Attitude!”, and frankly, I thought that it was a crock of shit! LOL My mentality at the time was that they promoted who they wanted, no matter what kind of performance that person may or may not have had, and I could be the nicest person in the world, and they still wouldn’t promote me. But what I was doing was allowing myself to be defeated before I even gave anybody the chance to think about me for a promotion! My ATTITUDE STUNK!
Another case in scenario… have you all ever encountered someone who just ALWAYS had something to say? A boss, a co-worker, some hater from around the corner?! Now, think about it… how did you choose to react to that person whenever they opened their mouth? Did you pop back off at them? Did you roll your eyes, flip them off, or suck your teeth? And how did that person react to you? Most of the time, the attitude that you’ve chosen to deal with a person with, is exactly the type of attitude that they are going to give right back! I learned this first at CAU… sitting in the financial aid line, and noticed the difference in how the financial aid personnel would treat the people who would get straight IGNANT with them, versus the people who were polite and acted as if they had a lick of home training.
On the job, I’ve learned how to channel my anger towards my crazy tail boss(es), and not give them the pleasure in knowing that they’ve pissed me off. It’s hard, but I’ve found that I can get more accomplished, and be a more productive worker if I didn’t focus my energy on the negative. I started to change my attitude in how I dealt with things, and it works!
I feel as if I’m rambling, so I’ll stop there. Try it, though. See what happens! Like the old saying goes… you catch more flies with honey… or something like that!
Choose your attitude!